Yup. You only get one life. Life every day as if it’s your last etc etc etc. Tell you what though, when you do get a scare, it’s true, all that stuff. I’ll never take good health for granted again. For the last four years I’ve been on off ill with Graves Disease. I’ve just relapsed again and have been far more poorly than ever before. I’ve not been on death’s door – you’d have to be really unlucky to die from Graves (in more ways than one – which other disease is named after the place you end up? Haha) but I did get a scare (Random blood test which showed I was very unwell two days before I was due to swim a 5km swim to raise money for charity. The doctor said if I’d done the race, I’d have had heart failure as my heart was under so much stress already, and trust me, I’d have pushed myself. I’m like that.) and it was sobering. If you don’t know what Graves is like allow me to describe it: how I imagine being on speed constantly – yes, even at night – and simultaneously suffering from the worst PMT ever. Sprinkled into the mix can be any number of other symptoms. It affects your body and your emotions. It’s an autoimmune issue – like many others, all on the rise in the western world – and nobody can explain how and why you got it. I’d rather have GD than a lot of other diseases, however, I’d rather be healthy, like I’ve been most of my life. I don’t want to write about GD today though. Wat I want to write about is this sudden realisation – and I don’t mean just reading the words ‘you only get one life’ but truly FEELING it, and realising than today could be your last day, or tomorrow, and what about all those millions of things you were going to do? If I do follow through on some of my dreams it’ll be like chucking a nuclear bomb into the midst of my life right now. But you only get one go. Pleasing yourself if it affects others badly? Sounds like an absolute no go, until you realise that yes, this is not a reheaarsal and if you don’t make yourself happy, you’ll sit there on your deathbed and think, oh, bugger…. Is it better to compromise on your own life to make others happy? It all depends depends depends. One thing I am sure of though, I will NOT lie on my deathbed and wish I’d written more. Here’s my blog, my on line presence so that when publishers look for it, it’s here. Hello, publishers of my future.
I’m going to write now.
Emma J Myatt 